Clarke Carlisle Message in support of Men's Mental Health Awareness month

A message from Clarke Carlisle of Spartans in the Community in support of Men's Mental Health Awareness month:

Morning Spartans!

My name is Clarke Carlisle, and I'm proud to be supporting Kevin Miles and the team as they attempt to rebuild Blyth Spartans AFC, both on and off the pitch.

Some of you may know that I've experienced serious adverse Mental Health in my life. I lived with undiagnosed depression for 12 years (yes, whilst playing in the Premier League, Chairman of the PFA and all in-between!) that led to me attempting suicide on FIVE separate occasions. The incredible thing is, eight years after the last time that I was actively suicidal, I am now the most well that I've ever been in MY LIFE! It took me a while to get here, and I will do everything I can to stay here.

Now, as it is November and Men's Mental Health Awareness month, I want to share a few thoughts about my experiences and how the football world helped and hindered, along the way.

Football is an amazing game and the greatest sport to have the privilege of being paid to play. The roar out of the tunnel, the baited breath as the shot is struck, the unbridled joy as the ball hits the back of the net; nothing comes close to the ecstasy that football can bring.

As a player, these moments are what you dream of, what you live for, and you give everything you have to make it happen.

Sometimes, however, it just doesn't......

The harder you try, the fewer things seem to work.

Mistakes become goals become losses become relegation......

The hurt is deep. To be found wanting after a whole season brings feelings of failure, despondency and fraudulence.

But you dust yourself down with the hope of getting the opportunity to go again, redeem yourself and put things right.

The truth is, I have never met a player who has ever gone out and wanted to play badly. Never met a player who wanted to lose or get relegated. Why?

This is not just my job; it is the lens through which my whole life is valued and judged.

Poor performance means I don't play. Not playing means no contract. No contract means my livelihood is gone, and I can't support my family.

No one knows this, understands this, feels this more than I.

Whilst this is all happening, the judgement is personal and it can be brutal.

The cheers from the crowd in good times are amazing. The heckling and abuse in the bad times are cutting. You hear every single one, and they sting, because they're confirming exactly what you're thinking... “I'm just not good enough”

This was hardest to process as a young man. I was just trying to prove myself. Make my way in the game and hopefully realise the dreams I'd had all my life. Not just my dreams, but those that my family had too. Dedicating themselves to supporting me and ferrying me around the country to give me a chance.

In my era, I could leave the ground and go home, to my sanctuary, and take some time to breathe and reflect. Hopefully, return the following week to turn thoughts around.

Not anymore! Social media means that there is a direct line to players. Awesome when times are good, utterly relentless when times are bad.

Could you imagine working all day, in the office, at the store, on site, wherever it is, and going home to rest? But you can't rest. Your phone is pinging with all your customers sending abuse to your socials, some who didn't even go to your work that day, but they did see you perform badly three weeks ago!!! It's incredible. And it weighs heavily.

It doesn't have to be like this.

I know.

Because when I got to the depths of my depression, I ended up in a psychiatric hospital four times, these same people showered me with love, support and positive messages that gave me hope.

In times of difficulty, when all seems lost, the collective spirit and emotion of a community can change a person's perspective and transform their life.

And so, as we our in November, let's harness that power again.

It can start at Croft Park, bring our positive energy, vibes and comments. Transform the environment that will make our lads take a step forward in confidence rather than a step back in doubt, get onto those second balls and make something happen.

Then we can take that energy home, to our families and communities. Reaching out to those who might need a shoulder, guide them to a place of help.

Wellness and success are always the responsibility of the individual, but they might need a nudge in the right direction to make it happen.

Let's nudge each other this month.

Howay Blyth!